Hiding in my bed under the covers, with only my eyes exposed, I saw him pass by my room with a kitchen knife in his hand and heard his violent death threats. Yet another alcohol and drug-induced rage had come to torment our home. 

“STOP IT DADDY,” I kept repeating to myself silently under my breath.  I could hear mom in the next room crying for help as my heartbeat pounded faster by the minute.  In an act of desperation, I got dressed and ran to the living room; there I saw him punch mommy in the face.  I charged him wildly, swinging my hands and striking him multiple times.

I’ll never forget the disappointment in daddy’s eyes as he looked at me before running out of the house.  The very next day I received a phone call that he was dead.

Daddy committed suicide.  He hung himself in a friend’s basement.  I was twelve years old.

The heartache at home and the torment that I had experienced everyday made the streets very attractive.  In my community, the Lower East Side of Manhattan, poverty, prostitution, gang violence, and drugs linger around waiting to entangle emotionally unstable youth like I was.  I got involved in a crew named S.B.M., an acronym for “Sex, Booze, & Money,” and lived the typical street life until the age of 17.

Then I met Jesus Christ.  I invited Him into my heart, and my life was changed instantly.  Now I’m 21 and I love to share with my friends and community what God has done for me. 

Through my church, Abounding Grace Christian Center, I received an opportunity in 1996 to do just that.  I joined a team of teens in a project to design and create a youth center called “Generation Xcel.”  Our goal was to provide kids with real hope by offering alternatives to the streets. 

The kids who attend Xcel remind me of myself when I was younger; they walk around with hidden hurts that influence their decision-making. 

The two sisters whose mom has AIDS and daddy’s love for heroine seems greater than his love for them; the boy who doesn’t understand why daddy committed suicide; the 16 year old girl who can be spared from the persuasive talk of a 27 year old who doesn’t have her best interest in mind; the little girl who is uncomfortable when daddy touches her in certain areas of her body; and the boy who can’t understand why his big sister died in his arms of a heart attack -- these are a few of the kids from Xcel that I have grown to love just like Christ loved me. 

The Lower East Side is not the only community whose youth are tormented with untold stories of despair.  If we the people called by God won’t make a difference in the lives of such kids then the wicked streets will.

By Luis “Lou–Box” Velez, X–cel co-founder

Read Luis' bio here.
Luis received the prestigious "After School Educator of the Year" award from the Partnership of After School Education in 2002. For more, go here.
For more original writings by Xcelers, go here.

Luis, center, performing drama with Xcel staff at block party